You Saved Me. "Thank You" Is SO Not Enough

For the majority of this past semester, I have been going to counseling. I was ashamed and scared to tell people about this part of my life, for I was well aware of the stigma connected to counseling. However, my counselor changed my life. She helped me change my outlook on life, and she more importantly, she helped me become a person I can actually be proud of. For years I have been struggling with people leaving me, with people dying in unfair ways, and with not being able to openly express my feelings with anyone. My life was spiraling into depression, so I went to my college's counseling center. Believe me, the seemingly simple action of walking down the street to that center, opening the door, and telling the receptionist that I needed help was the hardest thing I have ever made myself do. I relish in completing tasks on my own, in accomplishing the unfathomable by myself. But this time was different; this time I needed help, for the pain was building and it was too much for me to handle.

My counselor was a grad student in her last year, and I do not think I could have been placed with anyone more suitable. She was young enough to relate to me, but wise enough to guide me through the painful memories and trying days. This amazing woman helped me to realize that feeling the pain I feel everyday is normal...I just can't let it consume me the way I used to. I will have bad days, that is a fact I have learned to deal with, but I will also have extraordinarily good days, and there is no reason to feel guilty for those days. Grief is a process, and though it will always be with me, I know that eventually the pain becomes something I can choose to better my life instead of hinder it. 

The counselor I saw probably does not know just how greatly she impacted my life. Not to worry, though, I wrote her a letter and shared with her a piece of my writing which I have shared with no one else. My former counselor saved me from the omnipresent darkness that was my life and somehow found a way to help me allow light to shine out my overpowering grief. So I thank her with my whole heart, my entire being; she deserves so much more.